Food and freedom were never meant to be one. This has never been more evident than in the phenomenon that is Subway. Subway’s sandwich making and service system is beyond my comprehension. I have no idea how to react to it. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I don’t know what the purpose is.
Firstly, okay… It’s nice to be able to customize your sandwich ingredients. Oh boy, yeah! That’s great, yah know… But what I’d like to do, really, is order the sandwich that is up on the board. Would that be so difficult? I’d like to be able to say: “I’ll have the ‘Chicken Ranch Club,’ please.” And then get exactly that. But I can’t. It’s impossible. As soon as I ask for a particular sandwich I’m bombarded with a serious of grueling inquiries regarding the ingredients of the sandwich. I don’t know what goes in the ‘Chicken Ranch Club’! Just make it already!
“What kind of meat do you want?”
“Oh… Well, it’s the ‘Chicken Ranch Club’ so…”
“So you want chicken?”
“Yeah, yeah… I want the chicken.”
“What kind of sauce do you want?”
“Are you kidding me? Ranch… I want ranch.”
“Okay, now… What kind of veggies?”
“What? Are you trying to say 'vegetables'?”
I just don’t get it. If you’re going allow changes, substitutions and omissions of every single part of the sandwich then why even have specific sandwiches at all? Why have the “Turkey Breast & Ham.” What kinds of questions are you going to be asked if you order the “Oven Roasted Chicken Breast” (“Do you want the chicken breast to be oven roasted?”) or the “Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki” (“Do you want teriyaki on that?”) It’s like you have to just create your own sandwich from scratch. That’d be fine if that was the hitch but it’s not.
Secondly… I don’t really have a second point to complain about. Oh, wait! Isn’t Subway supposedly some big health-conscious place? Why then, by the time you’re through the dreaded gauntlet, are you offered soda and a cookie? It just doesn’t make sense!
Love and Madness,
D. Bradford
p.s. – I was once pressured into choosing a bunch of ingredients I didn’t want because they were training a new employee; However, I did get a free cookie out of it.